Thoughts on getting older

I turn 34 today……………. Ok. Now that the fan fare has subsided, I can’t really say it’s a big deal. I used to get excited about birthdays. Thinking back, I can’t remember when it was that I lost interest. I think it was after Nathan was born. It became more exciting to think about and plan their birthdays and what to get them. As it is, I am still unsure as to what to do today. If I had my druthers (What the heck are “druthers”? Isn’t that such a grandpa type term?), I would end up  in my office  with the door closed working on some old projects that I want to finish. But, knowing this isn’t really an option, my thoughts have been all about what will be fun for the kids. We could go to the zoo, but that would take all day, which would be fine, but we have this new little dog and I am reluctant to leave him home alone all day. Same deal with SeaWorld and LegoLand. So, we will probably go to beach, which would be great except that the weather decided to be lousy. So that slims up our choices even more. What can you do in southern California WITH your pet that’s indoors??

Getting older just sucks. I have become indecisive, easily bored, and apathetic. So, most of the time I am bored cause I can’t decide what to do and really don’t care.

Getting older is annoying too. I have hair growing out of my nose faster than the hair on my head.
plucking has become a part of my life. How depressing.

Getting older isn’t healthy either. I am coming closer and closer to needing to do things like getting a colonoscopy. While it’s a “healthy” to take care of yourself and get checked up, there’s a much higher instance of finding out you have cancer if you have a colonoscopy. I’m just not a fan of that. I just read an histerical article by Dave Barry, one of my favorite satirical writers, about this subject. Please read it here.

Getting older means I get to be more like Dad. I keep going around the house turning off lights grumbling about the electric bill. I keep checking the thermostat to make sure it’s not set too high. If it gets a bit chilly in here, I tell my wife and kids to put on another layer of clothes rather than turn the heat up. I finally understand why we thought Dad was mildly crazy wandering around the house and talking to himself when we were kids.

Anyway, for those of you who haven’t gotten this old, I don’t recommend it.

May 26, 2008 at 7:23 am Leave a comment

Fighting 5 year olds…. hmmm

Apparently, in a gang beating by 5 year olds, I would only be able to take on 11 of them at a time. Sarah found this funny website that can measure your ability to take on a pack of 5 year olds. The questions are amusing and it’s a quick and fun thing to do. Give it a try. I am a pansy according to Sarah cause I have too much of a moral compass. She can take on 28 of the little punks. She has no bones about using them as weapons and such.

Because WordPress SUCKS dirt, I can’t have the real logo here for fighting 5 year olds, so you have to just click this link

February 26, 2008 at 1:13 pm Leave a comment

Comedy!

I recently got an XM Radio satellite unit for my van. I love it. There’s some great stuff out there to listen to. It’s fantastic. By far, my favorite thing to listen to is comedy. I have heard some stuff that makes you nearly vomit you are laughing so hard. Granted, some of it is jaw-dropping in it’s crudeness, but then, I am a toilet humor guy, so I love it.

Anyway, in listening to this radio, I found a new comedian that I think now has to be one of my all-time favorites. His name is John Pinette.  He’s nearly as clean as Billy Cosby, so he’s pretty family friendly. And he’s HILARIOUS!. I feel like I relate to this guy. I have to go laugh now……… Ok. Now, here’s a couple of great clips to watch:

February 14, 2008 at 10:33 am Leave a comment

Funny videos

I just can’t seem to get enough funny videos. My co-worker sent me one today that I can’t help but laugh at. And of course, laughter is a good infection to spread, so I sent it on to others. The one below is the one he sent me today. Sorry to all of you cat lovers out there. I too like cats, but this is hilarious! Besides a dog would probably do the same thing if his claws could catch like that. Only he would rip the fan out of the ceiling and crash through a window before you could stop him.

Enjoy!

February 14, 2008 at 10:22 am Leave a comment

Fix those div heights

So let’s say you are wanting to build a killer site. But, you want to use all css and none of those dumb tables. Your layout however calls for two div’s of equal height, but the content within those divs will have fluctuating height. You can try to enter height=’100%’ but that’s useless, as I am sure you have discovered. So what happens? You end up with one div taller than the other, which looks really bad if you are trying to have some nice even borders etc.

“How do I fix this?” you ask. Well it’s simple really. It’s stupid that this works, but it does AND it’s cross browser friendly. First, you create a parent div, such as this <div id=”holder”> and inside of that you add your two columns (or three or four etc). For example, you might call those “leftColumn” and “rightColumn”. These belong nested inside the “holder” div.

Example:

<div id=”holder”>
<div id=”leftColumn”>Some content here</div>
<div id=”rightColumn”>Some more content here with an image so it gets taller than the left column.</div>
</div>

Now, we have to mess with the CSS. In your CSS file, add the new “holder” element with an overflow of “hidden”.

Example:

#holder {
overflow:hidden;
}

Next, we add the magic. Both the left and right columns need to have a HUGE negative bottom margin and equal positve bottom padding.

Example:

#leftColumn, #rightColumn {
float:left;
padding-bottom: 20000px;
margin-bottom: -20000px;
}

Of course, you would want to define each of the left and right columns with more specific information such as borders, backgrounds, width etc. But this is the basic information you need. One word of caution though. When using this method, placing a background into either the left or right columns with a defined position will be difficult to impossible due to the padding and margins.

I hope this helps others out there as it has surely helped me.

Many thanks to Matt Bergsma for tipping me to this trick.

November 28, 2007 at 12:08 pm 1 comment

Pet Peeve – Im’ers Listen Up!

I have begun to get really annoyed by IM’ers that are offline all the time, but then pop on suddenly ask if you are there and then disappear less than a minute later.

I have a number of contacts on my IM that do this. I am online all the time, much to my wife’s dismay, so I am always around. But these jokers – and you know who you are – come on at the moment I am not sitting in front of my computer because I am “indisposed” or something. There’s a pretty good chance I will be back online within the next five minutes. But you people are toooo impatient. You are never online. You login, ask me if I am around, and without giving me a few minutes to wipe, go offline. Why come on at all? If all you wanted to know was if I am around, why? Obviously you wanted to talk to me about something so apparently you had the time for a conversation. So why not stay on at least as long as the converstation would have been?

Come on guys? Don’t you ever have to poop? Get freaky with the Mrs.? Cook dinner? Give me a moment to make it to my computer.

November 17, 2007 at 10:52 pm Leave a comment

Frustrated, Angry and Annoyed

It’s nearly midnight here and I have just arrived home from a long day on the road to see the Seahawks play against the New Orleans Saints at the Seahawks ahem Qwest Stadium. This was my first visit to the stadium I have heard referred to as the finest stadium in the NFL. I expected much. To a degree I was not disappointed. The building is cool. The seats are very comfortable, even the end zone seats (not bleachers) were good and we could see the field really well. Plus, there were oodles (yes oodles) of concession establishments packed into the building at every level so as to keep the food flying and the booze flowing. I didn’t have to stand in a line for more than a couple minutes. Bravo stadium designers and concession operators: Bravo!

However, my first visit was tainted by a lackluster and downright dreadful performance by the team I have grown up with. It was so poorly performed, you would think it was just a filming for a soap opera or b-rate, straight to DVD, film about some slacker that grows a pair and decides to try to play the game only to find out that losing builds character. So, I have a message for a bunch of people.

To the offensive line and coaching staff of the Seahawks:
Something is wrong. I think you know it. Shaun Alexander’s golden touch has turned to lead. He can’t take hits anymore. He can’t find the holes. He seems to like to duck into the brick walls that the defense throws up rather than dodge around them. It’s like he has developed tunnel vision and can only run one way. What is he, a 8 or 9 year veteran all-pro player? I think he may have become dead weight. The 3rd year boy Weaver got more yardage than Alexander. But the offensive problems aren’t all Alexander. It appeared as though the offense was scattered and seemed leaderless. Someone needs to take charge. I hope Hasselbeck gets better at this role.

To the defensive line and the coaching staff of the Seahawks:
Get it together! We used to have a phenomenal defense. Our opponents used to see a lot of 3-and-outs. Not anymore. Too many times, especially when things looked dire for the boys in blue and green, one of them would stand out from the pack of player and start raising his hands to get the crowd to raise the roof and distract the team. Ah the 12th man. I think this has become a crutch. Just 2 years ago it seemed the 12th man was an effective tool, causing false starts and general confusion for the opposing teams. Those were the glory days. However, a good defense is only as good as the 11 men on the field. If you can’t do your jobs without the 12th man, then retire. Professional football defensive players should not be reliant upon a crowd of onlookers to do their jobs. We are glad to help, but if you can’t perform without the assistance of our heckles then you are no good to the team.

To the (in)famous 12th Man:
Grow up! Good God! I was at local fair a month ago to see the races and demolition derby. There were fewer drunken rednecks at the races than at the football game tonight (proportionally of course). I was surrounded by them. Everyone was like Barney on The Simpsons. I could not believe the shear volume of crap spewing from the mouths of the jerks around me. One guy was drowning almost everyone else out with his reverberating “look at me, I’m a jackass” voice. Somehow he thought that the players were going to hear him and even give two turds what he thinks. The 12th Man is supposed to provide noise and support for their team. Simply screaming at the top of your lungs to bitch about the way they are playing is not only foolish but annoying. I had to go buy a $3.00 package of gummy candies and shove one in my ear because of this guy and his merry pack of drunken Neanderthals. Yes, I put a gummy candy in my ear. They gave me a headache and I didn’t have ear plugs. Anyway, the point is have FUN at the game and find ways of being loud WITH the crowd, not over the crowd.

And finally,

To NBC:
Get some better equipment. At the beginning of the game, the fancy camera that soars over the field on wires and provides incredible views for home viewers, simply burned up and dropped to the field. This may have been the most entertaining part of the game unfortunately, but it did delay the game quite a bit and deprived the home viewers and even stadium attendees of some really nice angles and views of the game. Those of us that foolishly didn’t think to bring binoculars were having to look at the screen to see the details of the play that just happened. Those views would have been much better had the camera been running. For a cool picture of what happened, click here.

Well, I have said what’s on my mind. Not that this will ever leave the cozy confines of the soggy Bellingham community and make it’s way to the targets of my rantings. This all being said, I will probably try to go to a game again next year. Hopefully we will actually win that game….

October 14, 2007 at 11:51 pm 1 comment

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