Being my wife’s man

July 2, 2006 at 8:47 pm 1 comment

So, as anyone who knows me knows, I am not the most studly of men. I go into girlish seizures when any spider gets on or even near me. I hate them. Evil creatures that should be removed from this earth. Along with bees. I don’t like bees. They scare the crap out of me. I was stung numerous times when I was a kid, once on the chin. With God, all things are possible right? That means that God could easily take away these most vile creations and make it so that nothing on this earth changes. We would still have honey and fruit and stuff that bees make possible and flies and mosquitos would randomly just get stuck in webs that appear as if from nowhere and only in places that one is not going to walk through them.

The point to my digression is I really feel like a man this weekend. I rarely do the “manly” things around the house. Mostly because there aren’t that many “manly” things to do on a regular basis. But lately, it’s been warm, neigh, I would say hot. (You Californians that think that 83 degrees isn’t hot should just go back to California and leave me in peace.) So, in order to beat the heat, we have 7 fans running in our house (yes I said 7 fans). We also have been drinking a lot of cold beverages.

Cold beverages are great except that they really require ice. At a buck fifty a bag, that really adds up, especially when the misses goes through a bag in a couple of days. But our fridge has an ice machine. “So what the heck are you buying ice for”, you ask? Well, we live in a rental. The rental has no water hookup for the fridge. So, being the portly, hair covered whale I am, I decided to hook up the water. This involved running a tube from the garage to the fridge. I managed to do this by moving around three appliances and working with tools I barely realized I had (because I use them so infrequently). But the ice maker is now pumping out ice! Woo-hoo! So I sit here writing this lame entry with a frosty Diet Pepsi poured over freshly cut ice in my hand.

But the testosterone doesn’t stop flowing there. Today, I hooked up the air conditioner. Big deal right? Well when it’s over 75 in the house and the air conditioner is only slightly lighter than the load of blubber I carry around in my shirt everyday, it’s quite a chore to move it around. So I hulked it up and loaded it over into the window. Without reading the directions, I hooked it up. That’s right. No manual needed here thank you very much! But just putting it in the window isn’t quite good enough. I had to support the A/C’s hind end to make sure it doesn’t pull the window out of the hole. So I cut up an old board and propped it up. It’s working perfectly and cooling to a chilly 68 degrees. Right where I like it.

So all you lazy married guys. Get off yer butts and do a couple of nice things for your old lady. If I can do it, so can you. You will feel like you really accomplished something, even if it takes only 5 sweaty minutes out of your couch snoozing time.

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Entry filed under: Uncategorized.

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. nateritter  |  May 23, 2007 at 10:14 am

    Nah, that would take effort, and would take time out of my scratching, beer drinking, and sports cheering time. Who snoozes? Lazy a$$.

    Reply

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